Improving Your Influence

How effective are you at influencing others? How can you convince someone to agree to your proposed approach, particularly when you don’t have authority over them? Or when it’s not as simple as getting a bunch of facts together? Or when there may be some natural tension between what you both want?

How would it impact your job (and life) if you could be more influential?

John Maxwell summarizes leadership in one word: Influence. One of my favorite books on the topic is from Robert B. Cialdini. In Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Cialdini offers up what he calls the “weapons of influence” to help us all better understand how influence works.

This book is packed with insights that can help every aspiring leader be more influential. You will find the ideas in the book easily accessible even if you don’t have a background in psychology.

Cialdini serves up an enjoyable, practical, yet scientifically documented work that centers around what he calls the weapons of influence. Packed with entertaining and insightful stories, Cialdini helps us understand how each of the weapons work. Perhaps as enlightening is his advice on how to defend against the weapons when others wield them on you.

Here’s an example: one of the weapons is referred to as reciprocation. The rule says that we should try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided us. In fact, Cialdini’s research finds we often feel obligated to future repayment of favors, gifts, invitations and the like.

However, he also finds the rule of reciprocation can trigger unequal exchanges. I have a friend who raises funds for a non-profit. Like me, he uses Send Out Cards (SOC) to stay in touch with people using real cards instead of e-mail or e-cards. One of the many nice features of SOC is you can include a gift along with the actual card. He included a $10 Starbucks gift card inside a “we missed you” card to 10 people who were unable to attend an event. Within a week, two of those people sent him checks for more than $1,000.

It’s reciprocity in action.

Ever get free return mailing labels from an organization asking for donations? How about free samples where you shop? As it turns out, Cialdini finds they all may not be as free as we think! In fact, researchers have found that simply giving customers a candy or mint along with their bill significantly increases tips!

I’m not suggesting you use sleazy, deceptive means to get what you want, on the job or outside work. There can be a fine line between influencing and manipulating.

But Cialdini’s book is packed with ideas that, with some consideration and proper intentions, can help you persuade a project stakeholder that a certain decision is best. Or that another group needs to deliver on time when they normally don’t share your sense of urgency. Or when you need a team to work longer hours but don’t want to force it on them.

Actions for Leaders

• I wholeheartedly recommend you add Cialdini’s book to your reading list. I’d love to hear your insights after you read it.
• Contact us about our keynotes and workshops that can help you and your organization significantly improve your ability to influence others. We help develop leaders around the world on this vital topic, and it would be a privilege to explore the potential of helping your organization as well.
• Send Out Cards is a simple and practical way to improve your influence and show people how much you care about them. To learn more (and send a couple free ones on me) click here. Then click on the banner with the moving arrow.